advice

around 4 weeks ago my boyfriend and i broke up (i didnt feel like it would be beneficial for either of us to be in the relationship). i broke up with him and used the whole spiel of "its not you its me, we can try again when we're both ready) and that was that. but a few days ago i found out he had a new girlfriend. i've moved on too but it feels like i am taking a step backwards. because now whenever i see him i get really nervous and naseaous and i honestly dont know hoe to feel about this.
and also, does this mean its okay for me to start dating again?

carsonmackk's picture

Although i dont have much expiriencewith break ups i feel like you should start to date again when you feel like you are ready. Dont feel like its a must to just put yourself back out there. take some time to calm down and collect yourself and then deciede what you want to do from there. Stay strong

ollcolline's picture

I've been through a breakup, after a long painful relationship that was doomed from the start. All I can say is, you may not ever feel entirely comfortable around that person again, and that's the truth, and that's normal. That's why people get awkward around their exes. Because the fact of the matter is, it can be very hard to regain a friendship after knowing someone so intimately and the being forced to reject them ( or be rejected by them or both).

Move on when you feel like it. After my relationship ended, u learned a lot about myself and one of the things I learned was that I wasn't in a position to be a good boyfriend at the time. I decided that I needed to grow up a lot before plunging back in. So know yourself. Do your best to understand why the relationship didn't work, or had to end, and use that as a gauge for whether or not you're ready to "try again".

And above all (and this was my mistake) DO NOT LET ABYONE PRESSURE YOU INTO HAVING A RELATIONSHIP. It needs to be your decision and you gave to feel good and confidant about it.

JEBtheGamer1's picture

I don't have much to offer in the field of relationships, but I will say this: Don't jump in too quickly. Make sure the relationship isn't skin deep, otherwise the same thing will happen again. But don't let opportunities pass you by. If you feel strongly towards someone, get to know them, and tell them how you feel.

Jessica Clark's picture

You should start dating again whenever you feel like it! The important thing is that you don't start dating just in spite of your ex or because you feel like you have to. In my experience, I think that it is important to just take sometime for yourself to reflect on the relationship, love yourself, and use your experience as a learning/growing opportunity. It's normal to feel weird around your ex and although it can be hard to adjust, I think that it's good to have some time away to heal and get closure before moving on as being friends. At the end of the day, you need to do what you think is right in your heart!

gracepeters's picture

Although i have no experience with breakups, i feel that being with your friends to talk to and so they can keep your mind off of the breakup would be a good idea.

lizalikescats14's picture

I don't have a lot of experience with breakups, but what I do know is that breakups can be hard and can take a lot of time To move on from. Try not to be too hard on yourself for taking a step backwards, it can definetly be weird seeing someone who you used to spend a lot of time with who is now spending a lot of time with someone else. No one said that you have to know exactly how you feel about the situation. Just try to listen to what your heart and emotions are telling you. You should start dating again whenever you feel emotionally ready to. Don't let anyone else try to tell you when it is ok to start dating. Stay in tune with yourself to make this decision.

emma.gail's picture

i dont have much experience on breakups, but dont move on or feel like you have to just because he has. take some time to make sure you are ready to ad are feeling good. i know breakups can be hard, but everyone has different ways of dealing with them.

lucyislife's picture

make sure your ready! but go for it!

ThePaddler's picture

Whether or not you should start dating again should not depend on weather or not your ex is in another relationship. Make sure you are ready.

Reese Moore's picture

I think that that sick feeling you feel whenever you see him is completely normal and is expected if you have had an intimate relationship with someone and suddenly stopped seeing them. Whenever you are ready to date again is 100% up to you. That shouldn't have any relation to whether or not your ex has found someone else, if you feel you are ready then you are ready, but I think in the end you will find time fixes everything.

Jessica4471's picture

Personally I have never had a boyfriend,but it's most important that you both stay honest with one another. You did the right thing and maybe the reason he has a new girlfriend is to cover up his pain of losing you