Friend who may seem depressed

One of my closest friends may be despressed and im not sure what i should do.
my best friend who i have been friends with for 5 years has seemed a bit down lately and i dont want to be mean or confrontational and ask him if he is depressed but i fear he may be. Should i talk to him? should i tell a teacher? Should i tell his parents?

Jessica Clark's picture

I think that it might be a good idea to talk to him first. Although talking to adults about these situations can be a really good idea, it's probably best to see what your friend is feeling first so you have some more perspective on the situation. It's important that you show your support and loyalty for your friend! Just let them know that you're there for them and ask if everything is okay. Talking to your friend one-on-one about how they're feeling is probably the best way to go, I think, because talking to them accompanied by an adult may seem like some sort of intervention. I think that to avoid being confrontational you should just try to be persistent and make an effort to try and have a chat about how the two of you are each feeling often but don't be pushy at any subjects that your friend may seem sensitive on. Express your concern, if they are feeling very down, they are probably also feeling very alone and in need of a friend. With this being said, if your friend ever says anything about hurting themselves, it is very important to contact their parents or a teacher! I hope this helped!

alleykat234's picture

i definitely think that ypu should talk to them! i always appreciate it when people make an effort to see if im okay because sometimes im not! but if do you make the decision to talk to them, make sure you approach the conversation with respect

ollcolline's picture

Yeah I would say resist the temptation to diagnose your friend with a disorder without talking to them honestly first. It's never mean or confrontational to tell your friend you're worried about them. Be honest about what you've noticed and approach them frankly and tactfully. If they clan up, sure, back off, but make sure they know that you're always there to talk if they need to. Make sure they don't forget that.

gracepeters's picture

I think just being around them so they have a friend is good so they don't feel lonely. You don't want to pressure them into saying there depressed because that might make them feel insecure. You might want to approach them and say that you've noticed a change in how there acting and then ask if there OK. If they try and ignore what you said let it go and maybe talk to an adult or someone that can help them. So it doesn't get carried away and they end up hurting themselves if it gets to that point you should contact an adult.

lizalikescats14's picture

My advice would be to try to support him through whatever he is dealing with. Even if he doesn't feel comfortable opening up to you, he will appreciate your kindness and friendship. You could try talking to him calmly and privately. Best of luck!

Lu123's picture

Personally I think that it's better to talk to them rather than others because they might not be comfortable with them knowing and sometimes just having someone you can rely on is great. I wouldnt' make them to try to tell you everything until they are ready to.

Skylar's picture

Confront him before you tell anyone else. All you can really do is support him through this tough time.

Elisabeth's picture

Confront him first. Don't think that you are being mean or insensitive. If he is depressed or just going through a tough moment, he needs support and the knowledge that there is someone who cares. If you tell someone else first he may deny it and get nervous and he might not trust you very much anymore. You should talk to him somewhere quite with no one around so he won't feel intimidated by others. That way he might open up more about how he is feeling. Don't force him to tell you everything because he needs to feel comfortable and ready. This is something hard to talk about, but your friend needs all the support he can get.

Nugget98's picture

If you are depressed or if there is a friend of yours that is depressed i would suggest that you go this website www.depression.org.nz and this website would give you ideas on how to handle depression in yourself and other friends.

simone.jose's picture

My advice would be to just talk to them and make them aware that you are there for them, just be there to listen and for them to know they're not alone. make sure you don't avoid the subject because sometimes this could be the worst thing for them as they wont someone to reconigse they need help.