Should the first time be special?

So I've been thinking lately. There's a lot of people I know who are having casual sex, and that seems to be working for them, whatever. But I always sort of envisioned sex as something you would only do with a boyfriend, or girlfriend, or partner. Lately, however, I'm starting to think that perhaps its better to have the first sexual experience be a casual, "non-important" one. Less obligation, and expectation, for one thing, right? I mean, if you really care about the person, why risk having the first time you have sex with them be awkward and sad, instead of awesome and amazing? Practice makes perfect, heh.
Anyhoo, I guess I've just been wondering how people do it-find people who are willing to have casual sex, and not have it be awkward. No strings attached. No feeling of having to perform to their expectations. After all, you barely know them.

Not really a question or anything, but it's just something I've been thinking about.

JEBtheGamer1's picture

A good topic. The first time being special depends on the view of the boy/girlfriend. It's more personal for someone if it's the first time, but it's also more awkward. If one of the partners does it casually, and the other does not then that can also be awkward. Another thing is that both parties need to be honest about it. Otherwise conflict will arise. Then, there's the topic of religion. Some people might be against that sort of thing.

Not really an answer, as I have no experience with sex. But good food for thought :)

carsonmackk's picture

nd for my opinion, most everyone remembers their first time. So I'd ask you if you want to look back and smile, or look back and shrug? Or not look back at all which is still an option.

lizalikescats14's picture

I don't have a lot of experience with this kind of stuff, but a lot of the time, for girls at least, the first time is special and memorable. It's something you choose to do with a partner that you truly love. For others it is seen as no big deal and a casual thing you do with another person.
It really depends on the way you view sex and your thoughts on the topic.

emma.gail's picture

to me, i think the first time should be really special, it doesn't matter if you are a girl or a guy. I think it should be with someone you trust deeply and loe a lot. i know a lot of people say that you cant get your first time back, but you cant, why not make your first time really memorable not something that you regret.

Sick_boi4evr's picture

I think "the first" is an overrated concept. People place too much emphasis on it which can be nice if you want it to be special but I dislike when people make it seem like it should be special for everyone. Really just do you, if you feel like you want it to be special, then wait for someone special. If you don't mind, then go for it. Just be safe, health and emotion-wise!

anonymous's picture

This is a good question I think a lot of people have. I don't know the answer, but my opinion is that yes, the first time should be special. Not candlelight, romantic, this-is-the-one special but special enough that it shouldn't be thrown away when you're drunk at a party with a random person. On the other hand, I totally understand the attraction of 'getting it over with' when you're drunk and no one will remember so that you can say you've done it, and you won't feel quite so awkward the first time it matters.

Jessica Clark's picture

Of course a matter of personal opinion, but I think that there is too much stigma around the "first time". For some people they may want the first time to be with someone special who they feel comfortable around, but for others, they just want to get it over with. I think that for the majority of people, it'll probably be a tad awkward no matter what and putting so much pressure on your "first time" can just make it more stressful rather than fun. I think that it's completely up to you whether your sexual debut is "special" or just spontaneously done! just make sure you are safe and consensual!

moonfire_13's picture

tbh the first time you have sex is probably going to be weird and uncomfortable and you will feel like you are totally letting the other person down. It might be special and with the right person but all of this is still going to happen. The only way you can get better is practice ;)

KingKendrick's picture

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